miscellaneous
When life gives you lemons
Posted by Jill on Apr 9th, 2013 1 comment
Or rather, when your friend gives you a paper bag and takes you to her neighbor’s lemon tree, you make the most delicious Arnold Palmers on the face of the earth.
from twitter Posted by chris on Mar 16th, 2013 add a comment
follow me on twitterCalifornia kid dealing with New York winter: Took the subway 1 stop for warmth. But I got red velvet twinkies & red velvet whoopie pies. Worth it.
from twitter Posted by chris on Feb 11th, 2013 add a comment
follow me on twitterToday is the first time a barista asked if I was on my way to work— not school. I’m an old, bitter man in the face and my life is over.
miscellaneous
No peas, please
Posted by chris on Dec 7th, 2012 add a comment
Daisy’s plate of Lobster Mac and Cheese from Montrio Bistro in Monterey, CA
miscellaneous
Future food
Posted by chris on Dec 6th, 2012 add a comment
- Daisy: I wonder if this week old duck is still okay
- Chris: Could be pushing it
- Daisy: Eh. The microwave will kill the germs
- Chris: I’m eating oatmeal with brown sugar and apples
- Daisy: I’m eating future food poisoning!
Not surprisingly, this is a girl who told me last week, “I like living life on the edge… of the toilet.”
miscellaneous
Problem?
Posted by chris on Nov 26th, 2012 add a comment
- Alienman: I’ve lost 15 lbs since you left Portland.
- Alienman: How to lose weight: step one, get Chris Rhee out of town
miscellaneous
Thanksgiving 2012
Posted by chris on Nov 22nd, 2012 add a comment
Full photo gallery of Thanksgiving with Jill & Oj →
- Jill: Thanksgiving plans? I ordered enough turkey for 5 people so… help
- Chris: I’m in!
- Jill: I’m making Rachael Ray’s crab mac and cheese. YOLO
- Chris: You had me at Rachael Ray. Then again at crab mac and cheese. I passed out instantly after YOLO.
miscellaneous
Fruit or Vegetable
Posted by chris on Oct 1st, 2012 1 comment
- Victoria: does eating homemade salsa count as a serving of vegetables? I’m going to say that it does.
- Chris: As everyone knows, the tomato is a fruit. Denied!
- Victoria: hmph. the peppers don’t count? I use a LOT of peppers.
- Chris: As everyone knows, botanically speaking, peppers are a fruit.
- Victoria: I think I hate you.
I’m aware that anyone who says “botanically speaking” is an ass-hat. In my defense, I’m only an ass-hat to Victoria. And don’t believe anyone who comments here saying that I’m an ass-hat to them. That’s just Victoria commenting under the name of someone I know in real life who I’m totally not an ass-hat to in any way, shape or form.
quote Posted by Jill on Aug 21st, 2012 add a comment
I know plenty of words, thank you very much. I just [swear] to heighten my already passionate feelings. It’s like the MSG of language.
—Chrissy Teigen, discussing her recipe for brick chicken.
miscellaneous
Seriously
Posted by chris on Aug 18th, 2012 add a comment
This morning, I’m on a mission.
The previous night, I set an alarm on my laptop to give myself ample time to prep for a meeting. But the alarm isn’t the boss of me — I wake up well before it goes off. My biological clock is bigger than yours.
I’m in the zone: A serious man, ready for serious business.
At a nearby coffee shop, I get a large cup. These are serious times. 8oz cups don’t pay the bills. 8oz cups are for laggards on vacation. 8oz cups are causing the collapse of capitalism. I get the large.
After thorough investigation, the best table for conducting serious work is selected. I open my laptop. Sparing no second — As if it senses the seriousness of the situation, the screen lights up instantly.
Then the alarm goes off. The one I forgot to disable. FutureSex/LoveSounds plays. At max volume. The music floods through the coffee shop, for what feels like a lifetime.
from twitter Posted by chris on Apr 25th, 2012 add a comment
follow me on twitterI could’ve easily beat a bear in an eating contest with that meal I just had. IMPRESSED, LADIES?
from twitter Posted by chris on Jan 10th, 2012 add a comment
follow me on twitterFour cookies are 160 calories? According to my calculations, I just gained 5 billion pounds. Thanks for the girl scout cookies, Mary!
from twitter Posted by chris on Jan 8th, 2012 2 comments
follow me on twitterI must’ve been especially sleep-deprived to accidentally buy decaf coffee.
before & after
National Cupcake Day Edition
Posted by chris on Dec 15th, 2011 4 comments
Raspberry Lemon Poppy Seed Cupcake from Crema in southeast Portland, Oregon
December 15 — Happy National Cupcake Day!
I began my morning determined to spread the excitement, wonder and joy that is National Cupcake Day. Anyone who knows me well can attest, I am always and forever an engine of sharing delight… (Shut up, Anyone-who-knows-me-well.)
So I forwarded a link to Tatyana, informing her of our beloved and cherished national holiday. I sat back, satisfied, anticipating a sweet response to my sweet gesture of a sweet link…
Now, Tatyana is a known vegetarian. And I was quickly reprimanded for daring to send her a link that contained (among other cupcake photos) a photo of a honey-baked ham cupcake. “What a shameless disrespect!” she contemptuously castigated — yes, castigated — from her high gift horse on a throne.
Well, this meat-free, mea culpa cupcake photo & post is dedicated to her royal high(maintenance)ness. HAPPY fucking national cupcake day NOW?!
Done
Previously on Cut & Taste
from twitter Posted by chris on Dec 1st, 2011 add a comment
follow me on twitterTonight, in Bulgaria: Inadvertent competition to bring the best dessert for dinner. Everyone’s a winner.
