• Saige: Just out of the oven. Apple pie made by Yours Truly.
• Will: Clearly that heart is for me. I want some!
• Saige: Of course.
• Chris: The heart is for Will. The rest is for me.

Not pictured: All the cookies I ate.

• Dorinda: Holy god. This herbed, butter-roasted chicken would make anorexic vegetarians say, “Well, just for tonight.”
• Will: that sounds like it might be pretty good.
• Dorinda: @Will: Hey, uh… chicken?
• Chris: [butting in] What’s a man gotta do to get a damn chicken invite?
• Dorinda: Well, muh’fuqqr, the squeaky complainer gets the lube. Or something. Whatevs. Come over.
• Chris: I will only eat chickens that were cooked with me in mind. Second-hand chicken? Who you thank this is?
• Dorinda: Oh, believe me, when I’m trussing this chicken and shoving it into a hot, confined oven, I’m thinking of you.

• Brian: Want to get some food?
• Chris: Yeah. What were you thinking?
• Brian: Quantity.

The other night, I got a call from my friend Corey, inviting me to Will’s to join them and “cook a bunch of awesome shit.” So Corey, Courtenay and I walked over to Will’s and we cooked a bunch of awesome shit.

For those who aren’t familiar with the official definition, “awesome shit” refers to: wild Alaskan king salmon, shrimp and the not pictured: kale, asparagus, mashed potatoes, lamb and artichoke pesto.

• Tim: today’s lunch: turkey chili and maybe a fried egg along with it.
• Justin: interesting combo. Is that common?
• Justin: That’s not something I’ve heard before.
• Zack: i do it all the time
• Zack: for breakfast mostly
• Zack: dunno where I learned it.
• Chris: i’ve done it
• Will: ive put egg in chili
• Justin: I’m calling my mom and asking why she deprived me of this all those years.

After 24 years of diligent practice and non-stop training, I know how to tell when I’ve had enough cookies: When there’s none left. And the bag, box or bakery is empty. And there’s chocolatey, sugary, sometimes-snickerdoodley pain in my stomach.

Previously on Cut & Taste

• Alarmingly good — Information about Gregory’s
• Chewed Up — Louis C.K. talks about being full

I printed some helpful tips for our fridge at ENTP. Because we like cold drinks on hot days. And in the words of wise investor Warren Buffet, “Someone’s sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.”

But wait — there’s more! Earlier this year, I made a sign to remind people to take their leftovers home. It hangs on our office door — the last thing you see before you leave.

No need to thank me. Please, keep your seats. Women, refrain from throwing underpants on the stage. I’m just a man trying to help. Okay, maybe I’ll take just one pair of underpants.