I printed some helpful tips for our fridge at ENTP. Because we like cold drinks on hot days. And in the words of wise investor Warren Buffet, “Someone’s sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.”

But wait — there’s more! Earlier this year, I made a sign to remind people to take their leftovers home. It hangs on our office door — the last thing you see before you leave.

No need to thank me. Please, keep your seats. Women, refrain from throwing underpants on the stage. I’m just a man trying to help. Okay, maybe I’ll take just one pair of underpants.

It’s difficult to maintain the illusion that I’m a dominant alphamale when I have such a girly-looking drink in front of me. Next time, I’m requesting a cup with skulls, dinosaurs, and big rockets. With a biscotti the shape of a medieval saber.

Previously on Cut & Taste

• Coffee Art
• I Heart Coffee

I’m not sure if all of you know but our daughter Sofia is an IVF baby. Since my hubby’s been gone, well I’m human, I have days where I feel like I’m going to pull my hair out and want to run into the closet and let out a BIG SCREAM from frustration. What Mother doesn’t sometimes…

Today she pointed out the bubbles and yelled, “Bubbles, Momma! Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?” Of course! Great way to entertain her and get her to wear out by trying to pop each bubble! hahaha

And as I watched her face full of joy and heard her beautiful laughter, I realized remembered how blessed we are to have her here. I can’t even imagine how empty our lives would be if she had never been conceived. I watch her in amazement and pride because she’s the fruit of our lives. I love her. =)

Here are the results:

Well, a girl’s gotta eat, right?

Now, keep in mind, I’m not expounding the virtues of the mc-anything diet, but is all that stuff really all that bad? If you think about it, worst case scenario, the mystery meat is made up of the lesser organs of an animal. I don’t know about you, but I find those lesser cuts to be the absolute tastiest parts of the animal.

If you haven’t really tried that stuff, I highly recommend it, just remember to keep an open mind. I suggest starting with something a little tamer, like fried chicken livers, frying it kind of distracts from the smell that some would find somewhat unappetizing. But hey, maybe that “meat” is made of, as Krusty the Clown would say it, “think of smaller, more legs”.

And when you do, you’ll beat yourself over the head for all those times you didn’t stuff your face with ice cream. For all those times you said “no thanks” when the waiter asked if you had any room left for dessert. For all the scrambled eggs you made without cheese. For all the corn you ate without a nice coat of butter.

God, I just want a McFlurry!

• Pan-roasted chicken with sherry vinegar & marsala wine sauce
• Carrot mashed potatoes with fresh chives
• Asparagus with crushed garlic & olive oil

The past few weeks I’ve been traveling and moving around. I just set up shop in a new place in Oakland, next to Lake Merritt & Piedmont. So this is the first meal I’ve cooked in a long while. Luckily, I had the help of my friend, Brian.

I asked Brian to drop a whole chicken in a large bowl of salt water to brine it. Well, I misjudged the capacity of the bowl and the water (or “salmonella water” as Brian would call it) spilled onto our counter (or “salmonella counter” as Brian would call it) soaking a roll of paper towels (or “salmonella paper towels”) and his clothes (or “salmonella clothes” as Brian would call it).

He showered, changed clothes and did everything short of calling for a government Hazmat team to come sanitize the kitchen.

Everything else went smoothly and the mashed potatoes have been dubbed by Brian, “The best mashed potatoes I’ve ever had… That I can remember.” So unless he’s had mashed potatoes that were so tasty that it caused memory loss, I think that’s a good review.

Eggs benedict: 3 poached eggs, smoked salmon, Hollandaise & caviar on top of an English muffin. Country potatoes. Fresh coffee.

Done.

• chris: I just paid $26 for eggs
• brian: Knowing you, it probably came with a side of fish from outer space. “Can you make sure the fish was orbiting a moon of Jupiter?”

Well, I can say goodbye to that sponsorship deal…

Maybe Annie will clue you in regarding the details of her latest battle with food poisoning. Or not. No, you probably don’t want details.