from twitter Posted by chris on Apr 25th, 2012 add a comment
follow me on twitterI could’ve easily beat a bear in an eating contest with that meal I just had. IMPRESSED, LADIES?
from twitter Posted by chris on Jan 10th, 2012 add a comment
follow me on twitterFour cookies are 160 calories? According to my calculations, I just gained 5 billion pounds. Thanks for the girl scout cookies, Mary!
from twitter Posted by chris on Jan 8th, 2012 2 comments
follow me on twitterI must’ve been especially sleep-deprived to accidentally buy decaf coffee.
from twitter Posted by chris on Dec 1st, 2011 add a comment
follow me on twitterTonight, in Bulgaria: Inadvertent competition to bring the best dessert for dinner. Everyone’s a winner.
from twitter Posted by chris on Oct 7th, 2011 add a comment
follow me on twitterCut myself with the aluminum seal on a new can of coffee. I never have any cool kitchen injuries.
Previously on Cut & Taste: When no one’s looking, I cut myself and Extra burnin olive oil
from twitter Posted by chris on Oct 5th, 2011 add a comment
follow me on twitterJust called a diner to ask what time they close. The girl who answered the phone said, “I don’t know. I don’t work here.”
from twitter Posted by chris on Sep 13th, 2011 add a comment
follow me on twitterI hope it’s safe to eat a protein bar that’s been through 4 airport x-ray scanners this past month.
from twitter Posted by chris on Aug 23rd, 2011 3 comments
follow me on twitterShe’s having a cupcake and coffee for breakfast. Proposal imminent.
Tatyana at the Museum of the Moving Image in Astoria, New York
from twitter Posted by chris on Jun 30th, 2011 add a comment
follow me on twitterI messed up: mindlessly replaced 2 meals yesterday with 6 cups of coffee.
from twitter Posted by chris on Jun 8th, 2011 add a comment
follow me on twitterA red velvet cupcake is an organic field greens salad compared to the maple glaze bacon cinnamon roll I had last week.
from twitter Posted by chris on Jan 31st, 2011 add a comment
follow me on twitterI drink so much more coffee when I’m traveling, just so I can steal internets.
from twitter Posted by chris on Jan 7th, 2011 add a comment
follow me on twitterJust cooked a Flintstones-size steak for breakfast. Yabba dabba doo!
from twitter Posted by chris on Aug 4th, 2010 add a comment
follow me on twitterInstead of chicken fried steak & scrambled eggs for breakfast, I got a heavy bran muffin with peanut butter. This phase won’t last…
from twitter Posted by chris on Jul 13th, 2010 add a comment
follow me on twitterI am eating a peanut butter chiffon cake.
You are not.
I win.
from twitter Posted by chris on Jun 24th, 2010 1 comment
follow me on twitterJill wins Most Ridiculous Sentence of the Day. Over the phone: “Can I put in a request for the cheese cave?”
