December 15 — Happy National Cupcake Day!

I began my morning determined to spread the excitement, wonder and joy that is National Cupcake Day. Anyone who knows me well can attest, I am always and forever an engine of sharing delight… (Shut up, Anyone-who-knows-me-well.)

So I forwarded a link to Tatyana, informing her of our beloved and cherished national holiday. I sat back, satisfied, anticipating a sweet response to my sweet gesture of a sweet link…

Now, Tatyana is a known vegetarian. And I was quickly reprimanded for daring to send her a link that contained (among other cupcake photos) a photo of a honey-baked ham cupcake. “What a shameless disrespect!” she contemptuously castigated — yes, castigated — from her high gift horse on a throne.

Well, this meat-free, mea culpa cupcake photo & post is dedicated to her royal high(maintenance)ness. HAPPY fucking national cupcake day NOW?!

Done

Previously on Cut & Taste

• Before & After: Dark Cherry Chocolate Cupcake
• Before & After: Red Velvet Cupcake

Lemon poppy cupcake with raspberry buttercream. Double-shot Americano. From Crema Bakery & Cafe in southeast Portland, Oregon.

The cafe

I love the layout of this cafe. Big, open, lots of windows and lots of hardwood.

The coffee

Their regular house coffee is from a french press. So it’s very strong. In fact, they provide hot water, right next to the coffee dispenser. Puny, weak mortals use this water to wuss-ify their drink. Can’t handle a french press? Get in the hot water line — with the other small-boned children.

The characters

A very intense guy started talking to me about how his ex-girlfriend was trying to kill him. That was the first thing he said to me.

After 2 minutes of him ironically ranting about crazy women, I tried to feign sudden hearing loss. I became engrossed in whatever was on my laptop screen and prayed for the girl sitting on the other side of me to bail me out. No luck. The guy topped off his one-sided conversation by inviting me to “team up” with him and fight strangers.

I had to decline, for I was in Portland on vacation and had to fly back home immediately. But after all this, for reasons beyond understanding, I moved to Portland... And no, it wasn’t to team up and fight strangers.

Chocolate mousse topped with strawberries; Raspberry mousse with whipped cream, Lemon mousse topped with blueberries; Triple chocolate brownie a la mode, Apple cinnamon crisp a la mode, Bread pudding with raisins & vanilla, with buttery whiskey sauce:

Done.

(Actually, there’s still some left in the photo above, but it really was completely finished before we left. I wouldn’t lie to you.)

My dinner tonight: salmon poached with lemon & lime slices, pinot grigio and minced shallots. The white wine made me feel like a grown up, but I’m not totally sold on the idea of poached salmon, yet. It tasted great, but I don’t think there was a lot of difference between poaching & other cooking methods. I’ll give it another shot sometime.

The sauce (pictured below) was created by reducing the liquid I used to poach the salmon. With some added juice from an orange, brown sugar and honey.

Asparagus. Quicker.

Ready?

1. Turn on your broiler
2. While you wait for it to heat up, toss asparagus with olive oil, minced garlic, salt & pepper — you must get your hands dirty, don’t try to fight it
3. Get baking sheet. Add aluminum foil. Add asparagus.
4. Place the asparagus 4 inches away from broiler’s heating element
5. Cook for 8 minutes, rearranging asparagus half-way through

Much better than all the boiling/steaming nonsense (which I’ve tried plenty of times). I’ve cooked asparagus several different ways, but this is the method I’m going with from now on. It’s faster, easier and tastes better. [resists urge to add something vulgar]

My not-so-secret problem

• Espresso Chocolate Chip Cookies
• 11 brownies from the Apple Cafeteria (details in an upcoming post)
• Belgian chocolate assortment

Grains & carbs

• Kashi Whole Grain Flakes cereal
• Kashi GoLean Crunch Honey Almond Flax cereal
• Organic stuffing mix

Vegetarian assortment

• Eggplant pesto
• Tomato & basil hummus
• Garlic mint cheese
• Sweet jalapeno spread
• Spinach bolani
• Lentil bolani

Bolani is a super thin flat-bread that’s filled with spinach, lentil, pumpkin or potato and baked in a clay oven. I buy it at my local farmer’s market and it contains no meat or meat products. All you do is break off some bread and put on whatever sauces/spreads you think will taste good together. Then try to eat it quickly before anyone asks you for samples.

The garlic mint cheese sounds weird, but I see it getting the most use. It tastes pretty darn good as a base— just throw some sweet jalapeno or eggplant pesto on top and it’s good to go.

Food’s food

• Organic strawberries
• Raspberries
• Cherries
• Navel oranges

Sweetish fish

• Salmon filets
• Lemon
• Brown sugar

One weekend, I got it into my head that I was going to create a salmon recipe that utilized a citrus sauce/glaze. I’ll write the details on this later (complete with pictures).

nature’s candy:

• Red, seedless grapes
• Raspberries
• Blueberries
• Strawberries (organic)
• Dried fruit bars

human’s candy:

• Cappuccino almonds
• Lemon honey almonds
• Espresso gelato
• Dark chocolate almond Laceys (review)
• Espresso chocolate chip cookies

all that non-candy stuff:

• White mushrooms
• Portobello mushrooms
• Sliced pepperoni
• Sliced prosciutto
• Uncooked shrimp
• Wild citrus salmon
• Pizza sauce
• Fresh mozzarella (ovalini)
• Fresh mozzarella (bocconcini)
• Whole wheat pita bread (organic)
• Herb bread (organic)

I don’t always have hours to slave over a homemade pizza (but I wish I did). So lately I’ve been using pita bread as the crust for some quick mini-pizzas. I have some leftover chicken, pesto and smoked mozzarella and a really great BBQ sauce (which I’ll review later) so I’m able to mix up the toppings quite a bit. One of my favorites: marinara sauce, fresh mozzarella, pepperoni and shrimp that’s been sautéed garlic, herbs and red wine.

As I post more of these lists, I suspect I’m gonna feel more and more guilty about the obscene amounts of chocolate I consume to power through my days. But that’s okay. It will simply spiral me into a deep depression that will lead to more of that sweet, sweet chocolate.