December 15 — Happy National Cupcake Day!

I began my morning determined to spread the excitement, wonder and joy that is National Cupcake Day. Anyone who knows me well can attest, I am always and forever an engine of sharing delight… (Shut up, Anyone-who-knows-me-well.)

So I forwarded a link to Tatyana, informing her of our beloved and cherished national holiday. I sat back, satisfied, anticipating a sweet response to my sweet gesture of a sweet link…

Now, Tatyana is a known vegetarian. And I was quickly reprimanded for daring to send her a link that contained (among other cupcake photos) a photo of a honey-baked ham cupcake. “What a shameless disrespect!” she contemptuously castigated — yes, castigated — from her high gift horse on a throne.

Well, this meat-free, mea culpa cupcake photo & post is dedicated to her royal high(maintenance)ness. HAPPY fucking national cupcake day NOW?!

Done

Previously on Cut & Taste

• Before & After: Dark Cherry Chocolate Cupcake
• Before & After: Red Velvet Cupcake

• Saige: Just out of the oven. Apple pie made by Yours Truly.
• Will: Clearly that heart is for me. I want some!
• Saige: Of course.
• Chris: The heart is for Will. The rest is for me.

Not pictured: tiny half-bite-size shortbread cookies from Alienman, who enjoys subtle dessert flavors that feature hints of sugar notes. I don’t play that shit. When you do as many desserts as I do, you quickly build up a tolerance. Only the darkest, boldest, raw and uncut confections will bring about the satisfaction that you crave.

But I will give her props. Last night, we got caked up at Cassidy’s with a flourless chocolate cake topped with mint ice cream. And a side of strawberry crème brûlée… You heard me.

Done

A productive day: healthy lunch, 3 cups of french press coffee, red velvet cupcake and some design work from Crema Bakery with the company of Alienman & Zachary. Shout out to Amanda, who joined us for lunch, but bailed back to the office before the caffeine & sugar overload. What a healthy, responsible, professional, modern working woman chump.

Done

Previously on Cut & Taste

• Keep Portland Weird — A review of Crema, from my first visit to Portland
• A Piece of Cake — A short & sweet dessert dilemma

Dark chocolate fondue with orange, strawberry, banana, pound cake, rice krispies treat, marshmallow and vanilla ice cream.

Done

]]> http://cutandtaste.com/before-and-after/dark-chocolate-fondue/feed 4 http://cutandtaste.com/miscellaneous/pumpkins-are-full-of-nutrients-weve-replaced-them-with-sugar http://cutandtaste.com/miscellaneous/pumpkins-are-full-of-nutrients-weve-replaced-them-with-sugar#comments Wed, 03 Nov 2010 19:30:48 +0000 chris http://cutandtaste.com/?p=1101
Pumpkin cupcake for breakfast from Pearl Bakery in Portland, OR.

After 24 years of diligent practice and non-stop training, I know how to tell when I’ve had enough cookies: When there’s none left. And the bag, box or bakery is empty. And there’s chocolatey, sugary, sometimes-snickerdoodley pain in my stomach.

Previously on Cut & Taste

• Alarmingly good — Information about Gregory’s
• Chewed Up — Louis C.K. talks about being full

It’s difficult to maintain the illusion that I’m a dominant alphamale when I have such a girly-looking drink in front of me. Next time, I’m requesting a cup with skulls, dinosaurs, and big rockets. With a biscotti the shape of a medieval saber.

Previously on Cut & Taste

• Coffee Art
• I Heart Coffee

I’m not sure if all of you know but our daughter Sofia is an IVF baby. Since my hubby’s been gone, well I’m human, I have days where I feel like I’m going to pull my hair out and want to run into the closet and let out a BIG SCREAM from frustration. What Mother doesn’t sometimes…

Today she pointed out the bubbles and yelled, “Bubbles, Momma! Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?” Of course! Great way to entertain her and get her to wear out by trying to pop each bubble! hahaha

And as I watched her face full of joy and heard her beautiful laughter, I realized remembered how blessed we are to have her here. I can’t even imagine how empty our lives would be if she had never been conceived. I watch her in amazement and pride because she’s the fruit of our lives. I love her. =)

Half chocolate half maple bar with buttercream filling from Tulip Pastry Shop in St. John’s neighborhood of Portland, Oregon.

I’ve had 2 of these in the past three days. But I walk 3 blocks to the bakery to get them. I think that evens it out. Plus, I have to walk 3 blocks back to my house. So after a few more donuts, I’ll probably be super buff and fit and practically a bodybuilder. I think that’s how it works. Shut up.

In my defense, this isn’t all I had for breakfast… I also got a slice of brandied pear & dark chocolate pie with candied ginger streusel from Random Order Coffeehouse & Bakery. It has… fruit… and… ginger, which as everyone knows, is much ballyhooed for its countless health benefits. Shut up.

Lemon poppy cupcake with raspberry buttercream. Double-shot Americano. From Crema Bakery & Cafe in southeast Portland, Oregon.

The cafe

I love the layout of this cafe. Big, open, lots of windows and lots of hardwood.

The coffee

Their regular house coffee is from a french press. So it’s very strong. In fact, they provide hot water, right next to the coffee dispenser. Puny, weak mortals use this water to wuss-ify their drink. Can’t handle a french press? Get in the hot water line — with the other small-boned children.

The characters

A very intense guy started talking to me about how his ex-girlfriend was trying to kill him. That was the first thing he said to me.

After 2 minutes of him ironically ranting about crazy women, I tried to feign sudden hearing loss. I became engrossed in whatever was on my laptop screen and prayed for the girl sitting on the other side of me to bail me out. No luck. The guy topped off his one-sided conversation by inviting me to “team up” with him and fight strangers.

I had to decline, for I was in Portland on vacation and had to fly back home immediately. But after all this, for reasons beyond understanding, I moved to Portland... And no, it wasn’t to team up and fight strangers.

Today’s breakfast: A buttermilk biscuit sandwich, filled with fried chicken, thick-cut bacon, cheddar cheese and a fried egg, topped with sausage gravy. All before 7:30 AM.

I’m wandering around Portland, Oregon this week, trying all the local eateries. This behemoth of a sandwich is known as The Reggie Deluxe and is available at Pine State Biscuits. If you’re searching for a meal that can simultaneously start and end your day, look no further.

Every component of this fork-and-knife sandwich is well-prepared. Biscuit? Freshly baked. Chicken? Crispy and moist. Bacon? Thick and chewy. All the individual ingredients come together to form this super sandwich (that requires super arteries, should you choose to eat the whole thing.)

I had to travel across state lines, but I finally found a morning meal that rivals the dangerous breakfast burrito from Rose’s Cafe. Thanks Pine State Biscuits!

Here are the results:

Well, a girl’s gotta eat, right?